*Photos taken by Thirty Five & Oaks*

Here we are, coming to the end of our second calendar year of being engaged. When we got engaged back in August of 2019, I never would have thought we would be planning a wedding during a global pandemic. 

I wanted to share this post about the lessons I’ve learned so far while wedding planning before we enter the holiday season, because before we know it, January will be here, and shortly after, so will June. We have only 7 more months left of being engaged, and time is scarily going to fly by.

If I’m being completely honest, planning a wedding has been one of the hardest, most emotional, yet fun things I’ve ever done. I’ve cried a lot, but I’ve also felt feelings I could have never imagined. I’ve been scared, anxious, overwhelmed, grateful, and ecstatic, hopeful, tearful, to the point where it just keeps cycling with Covid still hanging around. 

Being engaged for so long already has made me realize many things. Here are some of the lessons wedding planning has taught me so far:

1) DO WHAT YOU LOVE BECAUSE IT’S YOUR WEDDING AND YOUR LIFE

I knew I didn’t want a traditional wedding from the beginning. Truly, I don’t really think we are doing much of anything that is “traditional”.  There are some elements that I love of tradition, but there are also a lot that do not suit us and don’t feel necessary. We’re not getting married at a church,  we’re going with a first look, skipping daddy/daughter dance, my mom is walking me down the isle, I didn’t pick a white dress, and we’re having cupcakes. Who cares?! It’s our wedding day, and all of this makes us happy. 

2) BUDGETS ARE LIES

You will set a budget, and might have a figure in mind, but numbers change so quickly and money gets spent so fast. I had so many specific budgets set in my mind when we first began planning, and a lot of my tears came from the realizations that nothing well worth my interest with vendors, decor, etc was fitting in my price range. All in all, whatever you think your “budget” is, add 20%, and that’s actually your budget.

3) YOU CAN’T DO IT ALL ALONE

Originally, I was planning on doing my entire wedding myself. Besides women’s contemporary, and ready-to-wear fashion, bridal fashion is my next true love. I’ve kind of always either wanted to be a bridal consultant, or a wedding planner, so I wanted to take the initiative to attempt to plan everything on my own. I can tell you, investing in our day of coordinator has been one of the best decisions I could have made thus far. She has been there for me through everything. Any questions I have, she answers. Any advice I need, she gives. 

I am so happy that when my wedding day actually comes now I won’t be the one doing all the finishing touches now. She will be there one to make sure I’m where I’m supposed to be, touch up all the decor, and set everything up. What bride wants to be doing all that on their wedding day? Highly suggest booking a day of coordinator.

4) TAKE A BREAK

There have been so many days I’ve literally stared at a computer screen for hours and gave myself migraines searching and searching for vendors, or trying to figure out numbers, or even searching for the perfect Pinterest inspo. I physically remember I was so invested in trying to find a hair/makeup salon a few weeks back that I literally didn’t even get up from my computer to eat a single thing.

I had nothing to drink that day or food until 3pm, because I didn’t want to get up until I had things figured out. I stressed myself out so much to the point of tears, and thats when I realized I needed to get up, eat something, and stop for the day. I had spent enough time on one thing. and needed to do productive things with my day. Please remember it’s not worth your mental health. Take a break for the day, and move on to something else until you’re ready to come back to it. 

5) SPREADSHEETS/PLANNERS ARE YOUR BFF

Whether it’s wedding wire’s planning tool, an excel spreadsheet, or a wedding planning book, make sure to write it all out, and plan out money, or things you’ve done so far. It will help you keep track of everything and know where you’re at in the process. 

6) WHO THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE ARE

This mainly goes out to Covid brides. Although we are still planning on having our 80 guest wedding, we do realize that there will be the possibility that due to future potential restrictions, we may have to downsize.

If worst comes to worst, we will be having a max of 25 people attending our wedding, and make the difficult decision to narrow down our guest list. When I think about only having 25 people at our wedding, it truly makes us realize who the most important people in our lives are, and who we want/need to be there. Covid has made us realize this and who we choose to see on a daily basis.

7) TAKE THINGS SLOW

There’s not as big of a rush in the planning process as it initially feels like. When we first got engaged, about after a week or so I started to feel the need to pick a date a secure a venue. After that, I wanted to book everything else because I was nervous they would be booked for someone else’s wedding. I don’t recommend waiting a long time to book your vendors, but at least take some time to enjoy your engagement. 

I pretty much jumped right into things because I was so excited, and started feeling all of the above emotions I listed extremely early on. But in reality, from March of 2020 to October 2020, Nick and I didn’t work on a single ounce of wedding planning. It was kind of left in the dust because we pretty much had our major things booked, and everything else that was left just either needed to be bought or decided. So trust me on that. We literally went months without working on a single thing, and still have a decent amount of time left until June 2021. 

Enjoy your engagement and time as fiance’s first. Life is short and your wedding will fly by. You will never regret taking a few seconds or moments to breathe everything in and truly appreciate it.

So those are all of the lessons I’ve learned while wedding planning over the last year and a half. It’s amazing how much time and effort we put into such a quick, short lived day that turns out to be the best day of our lives and only get one shot at. 

If you haven’t yet make sure to check out my other Wedding Wednesday blog posts here! I’d also love to know what other Wedding Wednesday posts you’d love to see 🙂