serenaajoyce

A fashion and lifestyle blog by Serena Javens

The Real Reason I Quit My Full Time Job To Blog Full Time


This is probably going to be my most vulnerable post, and something I don't talk about too often because quite frankly, I'm embarrassed by it. But right now it's on my heart to share the real reason why I quit working full time at an 8-4 to pursue blogging full time.

Working from home, quitting your job and working for yourself and not having a boss is probably everyone's dream right? The only scary part that becomes a problem is the un-steady income that comes along with anyone owning their own business or blog.

I was at the point in my life where I was ready to take that risk, and really see if I could fly blogging on my own. You see, my entire life I've never really felt sufficient at any job I've ever worked.

First, the backstory...

In high school, I had my first job at a sandwich shop, and just like anyone else, I would make mistakes with orders. As a younger kid, I felt horrible about myself making mistakes on orders and like I was letting the owners down when there was a mistake left over at the end of the night. Some days I would be dreaming about boyfriends, or I was just having a really off day. I felt like I was never fast enough, knew what to do in down time there, or really just a sufficient employee.

At my next job in college I worked at the mall at a major retailer as a fitting room stylist. My goal was to add on to sales, and bring up our sales conversion. Don't get me wrong, I was good at my job, but I never felt appreciated or was taken notice of the good things I was doing for the store. It was always about what more I could be doing, or why I wasn't doing enough. I was at that job so long I got promoted to being right under management position, and eventually knew how to do management functions, but was never good enough to actually get the manager promotion when I tried interviewing for it.

I eventually was recruited to work as a part time manager for a major kids retailer at outdoor outlets 30 minutes from my home. I didn't even last 3 months because I was always being scolded for the work I didn't get done or do. However, I don't feel as though I'm to blame because my management team was awful at communicating and left everything for me which was impossible. Either way I always felt bad about it, and was tired of be scolded and not feeling good enough for the store.

I worked at a thrift store during my last year of college as an assistant manager. I thought I knew a lot about managing a team from previous experience, but to be honest, this job really made me feel like I didn't know what I was doing. I had a lot of employees, and was never good at coming up with tasks for them to do around the store, and didn't always know how to handle situations. I just felt like I wasn't doing enough for the store and disappointing the owners. 

When I got my first job out of college as a Textile Designer, that's where everything really changed for me. Nothing I ever did was good enough for my boss. I couldn't get colors the right tone she wanted, didn't apply fabrics correctly to products in our 3d system just the way she liked it, or didn't say the right things in emails when she was CC'd. My boss would complain to HR about me and how my work just was insufficient enough. Towards the end of my year and a half journey there, we began butting heads, until we were arguing almost everyday and I couldn't take it anymore. I gave my 2 weeks notice without having anything lined up.


The Real Reasons I Quit My Full Time Job To Blog Full Time: Why I Went From Making Almost 80k to 35k


During my time working as a textile designer is when I first started my blog in 2018. Things were still good then. I didn't start a blog to make money, or even knew that people did make money from them at the time. I started it because I wanted an outlet and a way to share my love for fashion and putting together outfits. 

Eventually, when my mental health and self worth started to decline from my job, I knew that blogging full time and content creation was going to be a long term goal for me as a way to escape. To be quite honest, I never really thought I'd ever get to see the day where I was a full time blogger. I'd make a commission of $2 here and there, and maybe get paid $200 commission maybe every few months once it closed out. I thought this was going to be a lost cause. 

After leaving my textile design job at the end of 2018, I was recruited to work a Target as a Visual Merchandiser in 2019. Literally a dream job of mine since college. I had worked at Target for about 2.5 years by the time my wedding came around in June of 2021. 

By this time (June 2021), I was starting to make a much more significant blogging income 3.5 years later from 2018 to 2021. However, I could see the decline of my passion for my work everyday at Target. I never felt like I truly was doing my real job duties the entire time I was there. I joined some Target VM groups on Facebook, and was constantly comparing myself to what work I saw others doing, compared to what I was doing. My store was different than others since it was outdated, and I never felt like I was living up to the other VM standards in my area and disappointing my Store Manager. I also couldn't dedicate enough of my time to different departments of the store that needed it, because I was only just one person and other stores had 2 people do it all. I let some employees walk all over me instead of coaching them in ways they could help me out. 

My mind towards the end became constantly focused on my blogging side hustle, and every single break, every moment extra that I had was on my phone or laptop at work, working on my blog or posting. At the same time, there were a lot of internal changes going on that I became unhappy about. On a positive note, my husband received a very nice raise all at the same time.

 It was almost like the stars were aligning and everything was happening for a reason. I remember so vividly on my honeymoon being in the pool against the wall, staring out at the ocean, wishing I didn't have to go back to work afterwards because I knew where my heart really was. I no longer wanted to disappoint anyone anymore. I no longer wanted to feel insufficient. I wanted to quit my job to pursue blogging full time. I wanted to be my own boss, and not worry about letting others down.

After many talks with my husband on our arrival home, we agreed it was something I could do. I was going to leave 2 full time incomes, and live off of just the one. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make because I was terrified whether I would sink or whether I would fly. I was so used to not having to worry about what was in my bank account, or what my spending looked like. I had already been going through post wedding depression while this was going on, and slowly fell into a deeper depression basing my worth off my new income on top of the post wedding depression.

I can't believe it's already been 7 months since I left my full time Visual Merchandiser position. It's been the fastest 7 months of my life, but also the hardest. Owning your own business is no joke. It's a lot of work, but I think the most reward part about blogging full time is knowing this is actually money I have to work for. I could show up to any old job everyday, and goof off, and I'm still gonna get paid in 2 weeks. This is a totally different lifestyle.

Since going full time with my blog, I've learned better ways to manage my money, and save a lot for fun spending. I'm making the average income for my area, and honestly I'm doing just fine. I do miss having an extra $40,000, but getting to be home all day, live my life freely, and not having to worry about disappointing anyone is what makes me happy. Money doesn't always equal happiness. 


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3 comments

  1. What is an outstanding post! “I’ll be back” (to read more of your content). Thanks for the nudge! lose weight

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